I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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