Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
the raccoons are back...
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