I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize