you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
