atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
