Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize