Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
