Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
