yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude. I can hear the air.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
