Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
