i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
