1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
