Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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