Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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