There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
