if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
