She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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