If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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