I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
