Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize