ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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