he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My ass is underappreciated
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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