My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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