booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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