Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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