I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
