am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She bit a glass in half.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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