i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
