Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
