And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
