There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
