i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize