Do vagina's smell?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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