I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Randomize
