its not stalking. its research.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
