Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
