I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
