You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
