he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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