the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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