dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
