brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
