Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
