My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
