we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
