I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
