I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
