Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
