Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize