I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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