oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
