I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
