god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize