Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize