is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
