i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
