not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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