I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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