Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
