Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
