I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
