My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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