So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize