My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
