I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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