Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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