dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
