ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize