do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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